Sunday, May 2, 2010

Not Fan Mail

I received this email today from a total stranger.  I think I'll let it speak for itself. 

"Dear Cynthia,

I read your prose online. In your writing you come across as much younger than you are. It seems as though you play a character who you believe is entertaining to read about. If I consider your character, I see the bittersweet experience of a boring, generic middle-class female who is suffering guilt for consensual sensual pleasure.

I could tell you how to get rid of the guilt, but that would make you more angry. I can't tell if you are married. But I do know you haven't read many literary masterpieces. It would have worn off on you. I feel bad for you. You're going nowhere fast. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I'm sorry if what I write offends you. Almighty God has inspired me to write you; a person I've never met. That indicates He must care about you. But lacking any form of communication beyond email, I can only say what God wants me to, and leave it that.

What I saw was a sad woman hiding behind a keyboard; a self styledfeminist trying to be strong, and failing; someone who believes truth can be learned in school. I saw a facade of control hiding chaotic emotions, desperation for change, and sarcasm to dull the pain.

There is an alternative. You can learn how to write. You can become an inspired writer; one whose profound ideas never stop flowing; one who will change the world. I have written because I see raw potential. But the rebellion against traditional gender roles has your head buried under miles of deceit.

Your life is as good as it can be, for right now. I'm not a stalker, or a weirdo. I'm just a Christian man reaching out to heal the soul of another. Language is a fantastic element, because it uses words, and the correct words combined in the correct order heal the soul.

You are selling yourself short, because of guilt. I changed my mind. I'm going to mention three methods that allow females to dispense with guilt for consensual sensual pleasure:

If a female is married, she can veil her hair, kneel before her husband, and confess her sins; including consensual sensual pleasure. Her husband will be motivated to sow his seed of forgiveness in her contrite repentant womb. All life comes through masculine forgiveness. When she conceives, she knows she is forgiven.

A woman who is impregnated regularly is purged of guilt, through labor. A female who is physically forced to have relations bears no guilt for the pleasure she experiences, because it isn't her fault. She gets all the pleasure without the guilt. Plus, past guilt is removed from her heart. But the female must protest and fight back, at least for a short time, or she won't know whether or not she was forced, and guilt could become a problem.

Here's what to do after the guilt is gone:
Become Roman Catholic. Catholic women are chaste. Chastity is the key to female happiness.
Say The Five Decade Dominican Rosary each day. Give God 1/2 hour of uninterrupted time per day. Pray for inspiration. And in five years you'll be on The New York Times Bestseller List.

Just work hard every day, and read classic literature. Don't write like a disgruntled feminist. All those ugly dikes will be dead someday, and their genetic legacy will be purged from the human gene pool. Only the
righteous survive.

Change must come from inside. Changes to one's environment, for the sakeof change itself, is only a symptom the disorder that lay inside one's self. Be at peace. My peace I give you. My peace I leave with you. Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My Word shall never pass away. What was Truth IS Truth NOW, and it always will be Truth. There is One Truth. Everything else is wrong."


  1. wow that's

  2. Cynthia-- Just remember that being trashed by a simplistic mysogynist who's clearly a bit behind on his meds is one of the sincerest forms of flattery.

    --Auntie C

    P.S. I wouldn't try the rosary thing. I used to say 15 decades regularly and the List nevertheless eluded me.

  3. Wow. I am with... WOW.